Eric Yarnell, Fast Journal 1989, Mf 0404
Transcribed by Sarah Ichinose, 2024
Source: Colorado College Archives Box 539, Committee on Divestment - South Africa 1978-1992. Removed for separate cataloging in 2024.
Colo. College
Fast Journal
This is me. Eric Yarnell. Nov 6-12 1989.
Nov 6
Today was the first day, I drank a lot of water, I “discovered” hot lemon water, a concoction I intend to continue consuming.
I had a great deal of energy. We built a shanty & it came out wonderfully, I am very proud of it, & excited that I could do it (w/ help, of course), I’m not sure if using up so much non-renewable energy so early on. I guess I figure I will lose it anyway from starving so I might as well use what I’ve got now.
I worry about conflicting medical reports, but not so much that I’m gonna stop.
I’m “intellectually” hungry - I eat a lot for taste, as much as for appetite, my […] miss the fun of food & flavor.
Things I’ve heard & on fasting -
1. No potassium = muscles stop working (from Sonia Johnson’s Going Out of Our Minds)
2. As body starts using stored fat for energy - nasty chemicals stored there arise to haunt you once [again?]
3. Due to 1., heart muscle! eventually stops beating
(must lie prone as heart weakens or blood can’t circulate)
4. Stomach shrinks
(be careful when breaking fast)
5. Lightheaded
6. No energy
7. body can’t keep warm
8. System cleaned out
9. More susceptible to disease
(Low [down arrow] white blood cells) ??
There is a lot I want to do & I hope we get done; writing down our reasons, writing papers I have put off, working on an independent study I’m doing, planning (possibly) a rally building, getting people info, etc.
It is very cold. November/Colorado fasts suck.
I hear that breaking fasts w/ non-simple foods is a very bad idea & definitely will induce illness.
We never did figure out how best to go off food -
long & slow (go off a little at a time)
build-up (eat a lot so you’ll have more to work w/ in the fast)
We chose the latter basically
We ate a lot of carbohydrates (noodles) mostly, breads, fruit (pomegranate, banana, apple), & a few other things (soup, sugar)
A friend told me he knows this guy who fasts 2 days every week, […] he loves it. He says food is basically an addiction like any other drug. Going off food for him is better than being on it. Interesting, I felt very up, very energized my first day w/o food, maybe this type of life is for me?
Eric Y-
Nov 7
I woke up w/ extreme pain in my hands & wrists. I thought they were “asleep” but they didn’t “wake-up” for many hours. My hands shook I was still able to build a table, write & hang signs around campus.
Tons of fasters
(The list so far)
(Year) days
Eric Yarnell (2) 7 (in shanties entire time)
Karen Nixon (3) 7 (in shanties entire time)
Dottie Riffle 5
Amy Switeck 3
Cath Finey (staff) 7
Bob Fischer (“) 1
Allison Puelo (2) 4
Joscelyn Gay (2) 3
Chetan Ghate 2
Adriana Blake 5
Penny Brandt 3
Rey Phillips 4
Sonja Silva (3) 2
Martha Caw (2) 1
Christina Jackson (4)
Amy Thcker (1)
Sarah Lynch (2) 5
(1) Jamie Roehm (4-5 days)
(2) Cindy Bridges (2 days)
(1) Jason Crow (? days)
(.) LISA GREER (3-4 DAYS)
(2) Amber Johnstone (5 1/2 days)
(2) DAVE SCHUETZE (5 Days)
(4) Katie Welch (2 Days)
Bruce Coriell, CC Chaplain, suggested we invite the Trustees (who arrive late Thursday) to come see us at “lunch” Friday. He said we should ask Dean Max Taylor as to when they might have other blocks of available time.
The Trustees still haven’t released the college’s portfolio of investments this year. Many people have asked about this. In past openings, CC had stocks in 7 Apartheid - supporting companies (we think these include Hewlett-Packard [evidence - donate computers to CC] & AT&T [evidence new phone system is AT&T]).
I think the soreness of Amy muscles is made much worse by fasting somehow - I got extremely sore after building a simple table, & nearly died when I walked around campus hanging signs this morning. And it’s only day 2!
People say talking/thinking of food is masochistic torture. But it’s unavoidable. Sonia Johnson also said repressing desires & wants is always bad (so why is it different in fasting?) I think about food a lot.
I really do not feel gut hungry. I’m not even very thirsty any more, I simply miss task.
I want: bagels, muffins, bananas, bread, pizza, rice & applesauce w/ cinnamon & raisins, Indian food, pasta, noodles, my mom’s basil soup, broccoli, asparagus w/ butter, brown sugar in oatmeal w/ raisins & granola, peanut butter
People have shown a lot of interest. We started our red ribbon campaign, it’s very popular.
[in a different hand] Cath - My legs and hands are always asleep. I even want to eat meat. All my middle class taste buds don’t realize that other people go hungry for days and don’t think about it.
Eric Y -
Nov 8
Last night I got severe stomach pains. Karen reported the same (in addition to menstrual cramps) feelings. This morning they were gone. I had to pee very bad this morning - physical pain, not just usual “call of nature.”
104 petition signers so far.
9 people slept in the shanties last night.
We began work on 3rd shanty today.
A Gazette-Telegraph photographer promised to come photograph us building tomorrow.
Hungry comes in not very hard waves.
Took a shower today, felt great. Had an easy chance to cheat afterwards w/ food or nice in my room, but didn’t
We finished our letter/statement to the board.
Tutt Library put together a bibliography for us.
Very little hunger today, very cold. A lot of annoying wind. Pretty tired. Listened to somme good music & felt better.
Have to force myself to drink water, & I keep forgetting to pee.
Moved the info table inside - too much wind.
South Africa day in Worner was pretty non-existent. I don’t think anyone really knew what was going on. More & more people stop by every day.
[drawing of a skull]
Eric Y-
Nov 9
All I think of is baked potatoes, cream cheese/orange marmalade bagels, & quitting, I will not quit, we’ve […] to drink one glass of apple juice today. Cheating?
We have our entire fast breaking planned. Bread, rice, cottage cheese, broth, pasta (?)
I cannot move. Actually, it’s more that I don’t want to. I have to walk clear over to Palmer for a meeting. I don’t know if I’ll go. I’m so drained.
Only 3 1/2 more days. Being half done is both consoling […] depressing as hell.
Every one is worried about we’re so bourgeois!
The Board meets tomorrow at 1:30 pm (Friday) in Gaylord. We’re gonna go disrupt it big-time.
I just want time to fly, for this to be over. I wish I could sleep for the rest of the time so it would hardly even exist. Oh well, I can’t really.
Reading makes time fly & keeps my mind off food. I just wish it were a bit quieter. People have begun to annoy the hell out of me.
6-7 people in the shanties last night (hard to keep track).
We sleep from 9pm to 9am every night, plus frequent naps. Still we are tired. Still I want to sleep more so time will pass, as I mentioned.
I hate meal time. People absolutely flood Worner. It totally smells like food. Shanties are more visible by Worner, but I don’t recommend it for fasting purposes.
The apple juice is here. I feel both guilt & elation.
It tasted & felt wonderful. All guilt is dissolved. I know I can make it now
“A Little Injustice Anywhere Is a Threat to Justice Everywhere.” Martin Luther King Jr.
[in a different hand] Nov 9 - Karen S. Hixon - I have yet to write in this thing, but on day 4 of my fast I’m feeling much better. I’ve been having my period this whole time and cramps have been really bad. I woke yesterday with intense hunger pains and menstrual cramps. I was doubled over all the way to the bathroom. Water - I’m forcing myself to drink it - makes my stomach feel like it has rocks in it, food doesn’t bother me, a person could eat in front of me w/ no problem. I do feel weak. Phases of energy and complete exhaustion. I get silly too everything is funny. I very much appreciate the loving people that come by. My motto has become - hugs are food! I’ve been planning an Indian dinner for the 3rd day after the fast. I hope I’m up for spicy food by then! If not I love to cook it anyway. Lots of friends invited to it. It’s weird thinking this is my second to last block at C.C. I’m glad I’m leaving to go on the Global Peace Walk. I think it might allow me the healing I need. I haven’t thought much on my internal problems this week. I guess my physical existence has overcome may mind/sprit pain. I’ve not been too upset by physical pain, it’s kind of good for me to be conscience of my body - I turned it off for so many years.
Nov 9 cont. Eric Y-
The third half-size shack is going up. It will be for sleeping only.
Another faster has complained body parts going to sleep often.
We’ve had people come up & not know what divestment is, & even not know what apartheid is. Last night we got in a yelling match w/ two anti-divestment people. It was awful at least they’re thinking I guess.
I had a weird dream about frat people tearing the shanties down, standing in a ring around the ruins with us trying to get out but not being able. Veery scary, really.
The vowels of Apartheid
Apartheid
Exploitation
Injustice
Oppression
and
U where do you stand?
Nov 10
Eric Y-
The Board of Trustees meet today at 1:30 pm. We fully intend to disrupt it completely. They may (a few of the “liberals”) come visit the shanties around lunch time.
A walk to Mathias carrying some books nearly killed me. I’m very tired & have absolutely no energy. The weather is warm & delicious today. I am very impatient for Sunday (the end).
The roof is going on the third shanty right now. We have music going most of the time now. Shove Chapel brought us candles. A tv camera (channel 5/30) promised to come back today & film our struggle. They were here last night filming a Remembering the Holocaust candle light Virgil. We intend to hold a similar vigil tonight at 9 pm.
At least 5 in the shanties last night, 150 signatures on the petition. I wish we had gotten some people motivated to take it around & [truly?] get a lot of signatures - 800-1000 would be great.
Supposedly today’s Catalyst should release the names of 4 companies CC invests in which are in South Africa, along w/ a call for student response to the Selective Divestment Committee. I’m not sure that the 4 are the only 4, and I am suspicious of the fact that they aren’t revealing the entire portfolio.
I often wonder if it would be “reasonable” or “strategic” for us to try & extend our push for divestment to rainforest destroying companies, weapons contractors, animal testers, etc.
A 5-day faster taking Latin this block claims her attention span has grown enormously; she studies for the first time in her life for 6 hours in a row! Hmmm.
A CC student (Katie Welch) had an anti-apartheid radio program on KRCC last night, very cool.
Copies of letter to: Gresham Riley (President), Laurel McLeod (Dean of Students), Max Taylor (Vice Pres. in charge of students), Rene Rabbinowitz (school lawyer), the Board of Trustees, the Catalyst
Nov 11, Day 6
Eric Y-
Tomorrow at noon we begin very slowly eating one saltine cracker an hour or so. Finally at 7pm the moon ritual & home made bread. I will eat progressively, building-up, so I hopefully won’t get sick.
I am completely beyond hunger. However, I am incredibly tired. Yesterday practically flew by. The candle light vigil was a flop - too many other campus activities were simultaneous with it (dance recital, comedy night). The Board meeting (student concerns committee), although basically bullshit, provided a little fruitful dialog. I felt hopeless after it, but I’ve since recovered.
Last night I ended up alone in the shanties. It was kind of nice - no one pressing against me or waking me up when they rustled.
Several people have commented that I look gaunt & pale. I think it’s because I’ve avoided sitting in the sun diligently (as well as lack of food, obviously).
Time passes, drop by drop.
Inevitably,
The sun
will rise & set
whether we
want it to
or not
People
will die,
but, we
are changing
that much,
hopefully
Comparing my feelings now to those I had Monday is amazing, time looked like a never ending open field which I wasn’t sure I could cross. Now, it looks like a rigidly straight line leading from then to now, & tomorrows course is just as obvious.
I really need to brush my teeth.
I can’t stand hot water anymore. Only ice lemon water tastes good. We had a little apple-boysenberry-grape juice yesterday. It wasn’t nearly the experience the apple cider earlier was.
